Beard donation program warms hearts, chins
George Monsma is on a mission.
The iconic economics professor emeritus has rallied several members of Calvin’s faculty to give back to the community in a unique and compelling way: beard donation.
Modeled after the widely successful charity Locks of Love, Monsma’s new nonprofit organization, Beards of Benevolence (BOB), serves Calvin’s under-bearded population by providing well-established facial hair, thanks to the temporary sacrifice of the bearded. (Most donors report growing back their beards, in their entirety, within 72 hours of donation.)
Monsma’s partners in the endeavor include David Crump (religion), Lew Klatt (English) and Dan Miller (history).
For Klatt, a poetry buff, contributing to BOB was a no-brainer. “Thoreau and Whitman both had beards. Henry Wadsworth had a long fellow on his chin as well,” he reasons. “If we are going to expand male participation in the art of poetry at Calvin, we need to do our part in equipping them for the craft.”
A spokesperson from the Office of the President said that Monsma approached President Michael Le Roy last week to solicit his help in the effort.
When Calvin News & Stories asked if he would accept the offer, an undecided Le Roy quoted Voltaire (or Spider-Man) by saying, “With great power comes great responsibility.” When asked if he was referring to his presidency, Le Roy clarified: “I’m referring to my beard.”
Some of the president’s supporters cry foul, saying that there are plenty of other resources to be tapped before sacrificing Le Roy’s morale-boosting beard. They point to Hessel Bouma (biology), David Diephouse (history) and Harry Plantinga (computer science & information systems) as just a few of the “more responsible” choices for beard donation.
Monsma’s idea may have sparked another organization on campus. In May, Dean of Student Development Bob Crow plans to launch his own 501(c)(3), The ’Stache Stash, to provide new and refurbished mustaches to those whose own are patchy, shadow-like or just plain frightening.
Both charities are committed to confidentiality and will not release the names of their clients, though many say the donation recipients in this tight community are hard to miss.
“When you see Professor Urban walk by with Professor Miller's beard, it’s kind of obvious,” says sophomore Brighton Klienshaven. “Obvious, but awesome.”