The Mentoring Coordinator (mentoring@calvin.edu) is available to help with any questions that you might have. The Broene Counseling Center is an additional resource for navigating relationship challenges.×

Guiding the student in resolving problems or conflict

  1. Acknowledge the truth of the situation. What is really happening?
  2. Set clear, positive intentions. What do you want to accomplish? What would be the best thing to do in this situation?
  3. Accept what is present now (This is where we are. This is how it is).
  4. Take responsibility. The mentee should ask him/herself, “What am I feeling?” and “Am I at fault?”
  5. Forgive. The mentee should be guided to forgive him/herself and others. Check for hidden resentment and lack of love or respect.
  6. Look for creative solutions (What can we do? Where do we go from here?).
  7. Reframe the situation as a blessing (“I will remember to pray for you.”).
  8. Show gratitude. See the positive side of difficulties (James 1). What has been learned from this experience?

Hunt, Susan, Spiritual Mothering, Crossway Books, 1992
Stanley, Paul & Clinton, J. Robert, Connecting, Navpress, 1992

Calvin University has many resources available, such as the Broene Counseling Center, for students struggling in various areas. Feel free to ask the Mentoring Coordinator if you have questions.

Concluding a relationship

We do realize that your mentoring relationship may not last forever. Every mentoring relationship has a life cycle. The best mentoring relationship may last beyond your years at Calvin, but we know that is not always the case. Sometimes the mentor’s or student’s needs or time constraints change and it’s best to part ways. The Mentoring Coordinator is always available to assist in this process however she can. Please let her know if this is something you’re considering.

When concluding a mentoring relationship, challenge your mentee to follow the mandate of Jesus Christ and respond by reaching out to others. In his book, Mentoring, Tim Elmore points out that Jesus Christ showed himself to be the model mentor. He modeled the Hebrew style of teaching and learning by life investment, on-the-job training, and in three-and-a-half years, not only brought about positive life changes in his disciples, but prepared them to be mentors and /disciplers themselves. Jesus called his students to be “with him” so they might be “like him.” As mentors, we must also practice what Jesus modeled by preparing our mentees so that they in turn can reach out and make an impact for Jesus Christ in the lives of others.

Spend some time pointing out the mentee’s strengths and the progress that you have seen during your relationship. Take the time to encourage and offer hope and optimism for the future. Challenge the mentee to strive to make a difference in the life of someone they meet. As Paul said to Timothy, “And the things that you’ve received from me, you pass on to the faithful who will be able to teach others also.” (II Timothy 2:2)

Consider the effect that you could have if over your lifetime you mentored 12 and encouraged them to mentor 12 people as Jesus did. “I have given you an example that you should do as I have done to you. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” (John 13:15,17)

Discussion booklets available upon request.

  • Sharing Our Stories
    • Mentors and students commit to meeting together six times. Our booklet provides a simple starting point by offering a topic and discussion questions for each week's conversation; walking you through your childhood, your journey toward independence, your faith, and your sense of calling. The final week encourages you to discuss where to go next; whether to end here or continue the mentoring relationship.
  • Life Beyond Calvin: A Booklet for Seniors and their Mentors
    • This resource promotes helpful dialogue for mentors and mentees as students anticipate the changes that graduation will bring. Includes topics such as dealing with senioritis, navigating changes in relationships, and facing new responsibilities.
  • Heart to Heart: Discussions for Women
    • This booklet covers topics such as self-image, relationships with family and friends, finding balance among varied demands, romantic relationships, faith and the future.