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Piecing together a wedding service by Donald
Draayer
In the past, couples had little
choice about the shape of their wedding service. Out of two wedding
liturgies in the back of the hymnal the pastor had his favorite,
which he repeated wedding after wedding after wedding. Today many
pastors encourage couples to take a more active role in shaping
their wedding service, to carefully select words that will make
their ceremony personal and special and keep it from becoming
routine. The following elements of wedding services were compiled by
Donald Draayer, former pastor in Bellflower, California, and
currently campus pastor at Dordt College, Sioux Center, Iowa. Some
of the elements come from published services; others are from
Draayer's files and were gathered over the last several years from a
variety of wedding services. Welcome
We have gathered in the presence of God to give thanks for
the gifts of marriage, to witness the joining together of ___ and
___, to surround them with our prayers, and to ask God's blessings
upon them, so that they may be strengthened for their life together
and nurtured in their love for God. --Christian Marriage
(Presbyterian)
We have come together before
the face of God to join ___ and ___ in marriage. We seek to honor
the will of God for marriage, the concern of the Christian church
for its well-being, and the interest of the state in the orderly
development of society. --Psalter Hymnal, 1987
Dearly beloved: We have come together in the
presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this
man and this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond and covenant of
marriage was established by God in creation, and the Lord Jesus
Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle
at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of
the union between Christ and his Church, and Holy Scripture commends
it to be honored among all people.
The union of husband and
wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual
joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and
adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of
children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord.
Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly,
but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes
for which it was instituted by God. Into this holy union ___
and ___ now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why
they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else forever hold
your peace. --The Book of Common Prayer, 1979
Dear friends, you are invited to witness the
Christian ceremony of marriage, as we bring together ___ and ___.
Let us be aware of the fact that we are in the very presence of God,
who not only hears, but will bless the vows and the commitments made
this day. Now, in the power of the Holy Spirit we begin this
ceremony of love and trust called marriage. It is indeed fitting
that we now ask the Lord for his blessing upon this union between
two of his children. --Source Unknown
One of the most joyous occasions in life is the
union of man and woman in marriage, in celebration of life. To that
end we have come to join in marriage ___ and ___. For that we seek
the blessing of God in prayer. --Source Unknown
Parting from Parents Today, ___ and ___
leave their parents to establish a new home. Do you, Mr. and
Mrs. (parents of the groom), give your blessing to them and promise
them your continued love and support? (They answer): We give
them our blessing, and so promise, God helping us. Do you, Mr.
and Mrs. (parents of the bride), give your blessing to them and
promise them your continued love and support? (They answer): We
give them our blessing, and so promise, God helping us.
--Psalter Hymnal, 1987
Since we would
honor the covenant relationship through which God is pleased to deal
with us, his people, I would ask the parents of ___ and ___ to add
their blessing to this marriage. (Groom's parents): We, the
parents of ___, thank God that in his providence he has brought
these two people together to be married. We welcome ___ into our
family, and trust that God will richly bless this home which he is
pleased to establish. (Bride's parents): We, the parents of ___,
thank God that in his providence he has brought these two people
together to e married. We welcome ___ into our family, and trust
that God will richly bless this home which he is pleased to
establish. --Source Unknown Marriage
Vows ___ and ___, now that you have heard God's message
concerning marriage, do you agree with it and do you commit
yourselves to each other in accordance with it? Each answers: I
do. Groom: I take you, ___, to be my wife and I promise before
God and all who are present here to be your loving and faithful
husband, as long as our lives shall last. I will love you and give
myself up for you, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up
for her. I will serve you with tenderness and respect, and encourage
you to develop the gifts that God has given you. Bride: I take
you, ___, to be my husband, and I promise before God and all who are
present here to be your loving and faithful wife, as long as our
lives shall last. I will love and submit to you, as the church loves
and submits to Christ. I will serve you with tenderness and respect,
and encourage you to develop the gifts that God has given you.
--Psalter Hymnal, 1987 Do you, ___, take
___, before God and these witnesses, to be your wedded wife?
Groom answers: I do. Will you love her, comfort her, honor
and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking every other,
keep to her only, so long as you both shall live? Groom answers:
I will. Do you, ___, take ___, before God and these witnesses to
be your wedded husband? Bride answers: I do. Will you love
him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and
forsaking every other, keep to him only, so long as you both shall
live? Bride answers: I will. Each says: I, ___, take you,
___, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day
forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness
and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall
live. To this I pledge myself truly with all my heart.
--Worship the Lord (RCA) Each says: Before
God and these witnesses, I, ___, take you, ___, to be my
wife/husband, and I promise to love you, and to be faithful to you
as long as we both shall live. --Christian Marriage
(Presbyterian) ___ and ___, if it is your
intention to share with each other your joys and sorrows and all
that the years will bring, with your promises bind yourselves to
each other as husband and wife. Each says: I take you, ___, to
be my wife/husband from this day forward, to join with you and share
all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death
parts us. --Lutheran Book of Worship Each
says: I, ___, take you, ___, to be my wife/husband, and in doing so,
commit my life to you, encompassing all sorrows and joys, all
hardships and triumphs, all experiences of life; a commitment made
in love, kept in faith, lived in hope, and daily made new.
--Write Your Own Wedding ___ and ___, now
that you have heard God's message concerning marriage, do you agree
with it and do you desire to enter into this holy estate as ordained
by God? Each answers: I do. Groom:___, do you solemnly
declare that you take ___ as your wife, and do you promise that you
will, with the gracious help of God, love, honor, and care for her,
live with her in the holy bonds of marriage according to God's
ordinance, and never forsake her, so long as you both shall live?
Groom answers: I do. ___, do you solemnly declare that you
take ___ as your husband, and do you promise that you will, with the
gracious help of God, love, honor, and obey him in all things
lawful, live with him in the holy bonds of marriage according to
God's ordinance, and never forsake him so long as you both shall
live? Bride answers: I do. --Psalter Hymnal, 1987
Each says: I, ___, in the presence of God, promise
you, ___, my faithful and enduring love, to be expressed to you each
day and in all situations. I promise to love you and to care for you
in sickness and in health. I promise to share my thoughts and
feelings with you, both in joy and in sorrow. I promise to encourage
you in abundance and in need. I promise to pray for you, to assist
you and to praise you as long as we both shall live. --Source
Unknown Each says: In the presence of our Lord
Jesus and these witnesses, I, ___, take you, ___, as my
wife/husband. I promise to love and honor you even as Christ loved
the church, nourishing and caring for you, cleaving to you and being
faithful to you. I promise to love you through both easy and hard
times, to share your times of laughter and of tears, to share my
thoughts and feelings with you, my best friend; to pray for you and
encourage you, to work with you to make our marriage a loving,
lasting relationship; and, above all, I promise to work and build
with you a home where God is the foundation. --Source
Unknown Exchange of Rings ___, do you
give this ring as a symbol of your constant faithfulness and abiding
love? Each responds: I do. --Psalter Hymnal, 1987
Each says: ___,I give you this ring as a symbol of our
covenant in Christ. --Psalter Hymnal, 1987
Each says: This ring I give in token of the covenant
made this day between us; in the name of the Father and of the Son
and of the Holy Spirit. --Worship the Lord (RCA)
Each says: I give you this ring as a sign of my love
and faithfulness. --Lutheran Book of Worship
Each says: With this ring I thee wed: In the name of
the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
--The Book of Common Prayer, 1979 Each
says: I give you this ring, ___, as a symbol of our marriage. With
my heart, soul, mind and body, I honor you; all that I am I give to
you and all that I have I share with you within the love of our
Lord. --Source Unknown Wedding
Prayers
Most merciful and gracious God, from whom the
whole family of heaven and earth is named, we pray that you will
confirm with your blessing the marriage into which our brother and
sister have entered this day. Grant them your Holy Spirit to help
them be true to the vow and covenant they have made. Guide them in
the way of righteousness and peace so that, loving and serving you
with one mind and heart all the days of their life, they may be
abundantly enriched with the tokens of your everlasting favor in
Christ Jesus our Lord. In all life's experiences lift up your
countenance upon them, that they may be thankful in prosperity and
patient in adversity. May their marriage be fruitful for this life
and for the life to come. Grant them wisdom and strength to build a
home which will glorify your name and promote the coming of your
kingdom. May they live together many years, and in the hour of death
may they part in the blessed hope of celebrating forever with all
the saints of God the marriage of Christ and the church he loved.
Hear our prayer in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, who taught us
to pray saying: The Lord's Prayer --Psalter Hymnal,
1987
Let us ask for the blessing of the Lord.
Eternal God, in whom we live and move and have our being; bless ___
and ___, that they may live together in marriage according to the
vows they have made before you. Bless them with your love, that
their love for each other may grow ever deeper, and their love for
you may shine forth before the world. Bless them with your mercy,
that they may be patient and caring, willing to share each other's
joys and sorrows, to forgive and to be forgiven, in their life
together and in the world. Bless them with your peace, that they may
be calm and sure, trusting in you with confident hearts and living
in harmony and concord within their family and among all people.
Bless them with your presence, that within their hearts and their
home Christ may reign as head, and that they may acknowledge his
lordship with praise and thanksgiving now, and through all their
life together, to the glory of your holy name! Amen.
--Worship the Lord (RCA)
O God, you
have so consecrated the covenant of marriage that in it is
represented the spiritual unity between Christ and his church. Send
therefore your blessing upon these your servants, that they may
love, honor, and cherish each other in faithfulness and patience, in
wisdom and true godliness, that their home may be a haven of
blessing and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and
reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.
--The Book of Common Prayer, 1979
Faithful Lord, source of love, pour down your
grace upon ___ and ___, that they may fulfill the vows they have
made this day and reflect your steadfast love in their lifelong
faithfulness to each other. As members with them of the body of
Christ, use us to support their life together; and from your great
store of strength give them power and patience, affection and
understanding, courage, and love toward you, toward each other, and
toward the world, that they may continue together in mutual growth
according to your will in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
--Lutheran Book of Worship
Father in
heaven, give today your blessing upon the marriage of ___ and ___.
We thank you for the vows they have spoken and the love in which
they are now united. Keep them faithful and strong in every trial.
Sustain their joy and affection for many years. We pray, Lord Jesus,
that you will be acknowledged head of their home and master of their
lives. Equip them, Holy Spirit, with patient endurance, sacrificial
service, unfailing courtesy, endless trust, and lasting love. Grant
that their home will often be a place of laughter; and in times of
difficulty and trouble, a haven of healing and forgiveness. May they
and their children give constant praise to you, eternal Father, who
with the Son and the Spirit is God, blessed and exalted forever.
Amen. --Psalter Hymnal, 1987
Most
merciful and gracious God, of whom the whole family of heaven and
earth is named, we beseech you, set the seal of your approval upon
the marriage into which ___ and ___ have entered this day. Give them
your fatherly benediction; grant them grace and your Holy Spirit to
fulfill the vows and covenant which they have made, with pure and
constant affection. Guide them in the way of righteousness and
peace, that, loving and serving you with one mind and heart all the
days of their lives, they may be abundantly enriched with your
everlasting favor in Christ. Be with them in all of life's
experiences, that they may be thankful in prosperity and patient in
adversity. May their marriage be fruitful for this life and for the
life to come. Grant them wisdom and strength to build a home which
shall be to the glory of your name and the coming of your kingdom.
May they live together many years, and in the hour of death, may
they part in the blessed hope of celebrating forever with all the
saints of God the marriage of Christ and the church he loves. Amen.
--Source Unknown Appropriate Scripture
Passages From the Old Testament Genesis 1:26-28: The
creation of man and woman Genesis 2:18-25: The institution of
marriage Proverbs 3:5-6: Benefits of wisdom Song of Songs:
Selected verses which celebrate sexuality in marriage
From the Epistles Romans 12:9-13: A message
on love 1 Corinthians 13: The classic chapter on love
Ephesians 4:2-6: The characteristics of unity Ephesians
5:21-32: Relationship between Christ, bride, and groom
Colossians 3:12-17: The virtues that hold a marriage together
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18: Instructions for living 1 John
4:7-16: God's love and ours From the Gospels
Matthew 7:24-27: The wise and foolish builders Matthew
19:4-6 and Mark 10:6-9: Jesus' teaching on marriage Mark
9:33-37: Who is the greatest? Luke 11:1-13: Jesus' teaching on
prayer John 2:1-11: Jesus at the wedding in
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